From all of us here at Druva, I am wishing you a happy GDPR Day! For many organizations May 25th, 2018, has been an impending inevitable data privacy doomsday of a sort. The amount of coverage around the GDPR has been tremendous, and EU 20,000,000 in fines is by no means a neglectable amount for any organization. In the meantime, there is still plenty of ambiguity around enforcement, interpretation, and application of the regulation to various technologies and business practices. To lighten the mood just a bit, I invite you to check out how the stars will align for you in your efforts to comply this year based on your Zodiac sign.
Aries
If you are an Aries and have channeled its passion into GDPR preparedness, you have accomplished your goal of compliance with flair! When you set your mind to something, you accomplish it. However, if you weren’t invested in GDPR compliance before it came into effect, you might be now that it’s very real. As the most impulsive sign in the Zodiac, you will need to be careful and think through all compliance-based decisions before giving the green light.
Lucky Articles 15-21: You are the “hold my beer and watch this” sign in the Zodiac, and will knockout those data subject requests in no time.
Unlucky Articles 33-36: Your impulsive nature may not enjoy having to perform DPIAs prior to changing the way you process data.
Taurus
Let’s be real. If you’re a Taurus, you’ve been dreading this day. Sure, you’re practical and responsible which means you’re committed to being fully compliant. However, you needed to make so many changes to prepare for this day and are perhaps a bit displeased that you have to compromise to adapt your practices to meet different standards.
Lucky Articles 44-50: This is an old requirement, and your responsible self has already implemented EU-US Privacy Shield/SCCs/BCRs.
Unlucky Articles 20: Data portability is a whole new right. Too many changes!
Gemini
If you’re a Gemini, May 25th is the day you’ve been waiting for! Your Gemini being is so ready for change. You are adaptable and able to learn quickly, which makes shaking up your data practices a fun adventure instead of a cumbersome task. However, you’ve also been a bit indecisive and had some issues with deciding on the best procedures to facilitate compliance.
Lucky Articles 12-15: You love transparency and sharing how people can exercise their rights under GDPR.
Unlucky GDPR Article 22: Your indecisive self may rely on automated individual decision making, which is now under strict scrutiny.
Cancer
Congratulations! If you’re a Cancer, the GDPR is probably right up your alley. In fact, it was probably written by a Cancer. It is equal parts sympathetic to the plight of the data subjects in the data hungry world of business and suspicious of these businesses’ practices. Even if it was not written by Cancers, you were the ones with the persuasive skills to get others on board.
Lucky Articles 7-9: You care about people around you, especially children. Hence, you are all for extra precautions for children’s data collection.
Unlucky Articles 37-39: Unless you are the DPO, your inner “Zodiac mom knows best” may not get along with your Data Protection Officer.
Leo
If you’re a Leo, you probably saw the GDPR as an opportunity to work smart, not hard. Sure, you’re a creative and passionate person who is dedicated to compliance, but you can also be a bit lazy and arrogant at times. Your goal probably was to find the most efficient ways to bring your practices into compliance without having to put in significant efforts. You’re all about the merriment the GDPR could bring and less about the difficult reality it imposes.
Lucky Articles 37-39: You’re about working smart, not hard. Let the DPO do the heavy lifting!
Unlucky Articles 16-19: Rectification and Erasure rights responses require too much work!
Virgo
If you’re a Virgo, you understand the GDPR almost as well as a Capricorn. You just don’t show it. You’re analytical and hardworking, but also shy and hyper critical. You wouldn’t be the person leading the initiative for compliance, but you were a substantial part of bringing the company’s practices up to speed.
Lucky Articles 37-39: This will be great for you because your Data Protection can stand in the spotlight – so you won’t be.
Unlucky Articles 32-34: Data breaches draw way too much attention, which can be painful for your shy nature.
Libra
If you’re a Libra, you’re too diplomatic to express your true sentiments toward the GDPR. You could hate it or love it, but you won’t say. Whatever argument you might make for or against it, you can anticipate and understand the opposite argument. At the end of the day, as long as the GDPR promotes fairness and justness, you will be very cooperative in all aspects of compliance, whether that be your company, data subjects, or a supervisory authority.
Lucky Articles 26-29: Cooperation is your strength, so sharing data with controllers and processors is not burdensome to you.
Unlucky Articles 9-11: You are against restricting processing criminal records if the data subject is willing to provide the information.
Scorpio
If you’re a Scorpio, you appreciate all the restrictions that are placed on data collection and processing by the GDPR. You’re resourceful and mysterious, but the latter is because you are distrusting and secretive. You’ll be happy to comply until you must make disclosures about your businesses’ practices.
Lucky Articles 9-11,17: You love your secrets. You prefer not to disclose any more than necessary. So naturally, you understand why data subjects want to keep their information private as well.
Unlucky Articles 12-13: Having to disclose all your processing practices in great detail is cringe-worthy at best.
Sagittarius
If you’re a Sagittarius, the GDPR is a huge damper on your day. You’re the free spirit of the Zodiac, and the GDPR removes all the freedoms of processing you once enjoyed. You’ll be constrained to this 260-page regulation, which does not leave much wiggle room. You’ll probably be one who switches to a company that does not collect from any EU residents.
Lucky Articles 85-87: You will do best with these Articles because they give you the most discretion. Who doesn’t enjoy some freedom of expression?
Unlucky GDPR Articles 44-50: You’ve already struggled with this one, am I right? Your spontaneity is restricted by having to abide by data transfer mechanisms.
Capricorn
If you’re a Capricorn, you’ve probably read the GDPR more than any other sign. You know it better than anyone. And being the most disciplined and responsible sign in the Zodiac, you certainly are prepared for this day. In fact, you are probably in charge of ensuring compliance for your organization, which would be awesome if you weren’t sick of having to answer thousands of questions on it.
Lucky Articles 32-34: Because you expect the worst, you prepare for the worst. Your security practices are on point because you know that data breaches happen, and you are fully prepared.
Unlucky Articles 77-84: As a perfectionist, you cannot stand to be criticized. So not only being criticized, but also being penalized with a €20M fine, is an insult that cuts to the core of your essence.
Aquarius
If you’ve an Aquarius, you probably anticipated regulations like this before the EU released the GDPR in 2016. After all, you are a progressive thinker with a humanitarian side. Although you anticipated some of the GDPR’s extreme regulations, you were also unhappy when it was announced, as your practices would be severely limited and you have less room for creativity. However, being the logical person and devil’s advocate that you are, you were able to reconcile your displeasure by exploring the other side of the argument in favor of the restrictions.
Lucky Articles 35-36: Data Protection Impact Assessments are perfect for you because they give you answers.
Unlucky Article 23: It very much frustrates you when the supervisory authority can step in and tell you that you’re restricted from processing the data for whatever reason.
Pisces
If you’re a Pisces, you like the idea behind the GDPR. You are compassionate for the plight of the data subjects, who have the right to be fully aware of how their data is being stored, used, processed, etc. But you are also fearful of your ability to comply with every Article. Some of the changes are quite extreme. You question if 100% compliance is possible and probably have anxiety over your company’s compliance methods being sufficient.
Lucky Articles 12-15: You genuinely do care that the data subjects are informed of what data you are collecting and what you are doing with it.
Unlucky Article 24: You may oversee all things related to data, but you also have a tendency to get lost in your own world. To keep all of the controller reqs in check, don’t forget to keep records!
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